I'm also gay, how come I'm not famous?

Hey, you guys know aah..! it's so easy to be famous nowadays.

You just post a video clip on Youtube.com and pronounce yourself (or make a declaration) as gay, and.....Walla! you're famous.

Well, it's actually not as easy as that.

Because it's not easy to be gay, as in being a male homosexual.

You have to sacrifice a lot of things, including being an asshole to yourself and your family, apart from having a loose asshole after a sexual encounter with your partner.

Okay, sorry, I'm being an insensitive and gay (as in happy) here...!

But to some people it does not matter if you're going to be well known for the right or wrong reasons, as long as you're famous, it's all that matters.

Take for example this guy Azwan Ismail, who is an engineer by profession and a part-time poet/writer/editor who gatai pungkok posted a supposedly well-meant video to encourage other gay Malaysians (Muslims especially) to be confident in themselves. The video is part of a series of interviews posted online by a gay rights activist group "Seksualiti Merdeka" since last week.

To watch Azwan, click http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJLSteQIcms

The video has attracted more than 140,000 hits on YouTube in just six days.

Well, in a way, he is now a very famous (infamous if you prefer) gay. But do you think it is worth it? He is now in trouble with a lot of people, be it his family, the conservative Muslims and the authorities of this country.

An online news portal, The Daily Chilli report said: It (the video) is part of a series of interviews posted online by gay rights activists since last week, but Azwan has attracted heavy attention because he is the only one from Malaysia's ethnic Malay Muslim majority so far.

Azwan says he now fears for his safety after the Internet video also attracted online death threats and accusations by religious authorities that he is insulting Islam.

He told The Associated Press in a telephone interview on Tuesday he was taking safety precautions following fierce criticism in this conservative, Muslim-majority country over his clip.

The complete report: Malay gay man gets threats

In The Associated Press interview written by Sean Yoong, Azwan said:  
"I don't know what to expect next."

After the controversial video was made known to the masses, a local daily Berita Harian has this report: JAKIM pantau seks songsang, inviting negative comments from local leaders and the authorities.

Minister for Islamic affairs, Datuk Seri Jamil Khir Baharom (pic left), voiced concerns over the weekend that gay activists were trying to promote homosexuality. He said officials might take "appropriate action to prevent this from spreading because it would hurt Islam's image."

Harussani Zakaria, one of Malaysia's top Islamic clerics, reportedly said Azwan should have not made such an open declaration that "derided his own dignity and Islam in general."

Azwan has now avoided going out alone or lingering at public places after a few of the 3,000 people who commented on his video issued death threats and many others rebuked him. He has also made his personal details more private on social media websites. 

Although Azwan did not break any obvious laws by talking in the video, he said his lawyer friend was checking whether other legal action could be taken against him.

In the interview Azwan said, "My intention was not to insult Islam, I just wanted to represent gay Malays in this project. I hope these videos will help to create a more open society and more discussion."

My take (and advise to Azwan):

Hmm...after you posted the video, now only you want to check whether legal action can be taken against you! Reminds me of the Malay proverb "Dah terantuk baru terngadah..." and "Terlajak perahu boleh diundur..."

But your admission as being gay in the video (without being called for) according to many people, including me are wrong here, Azwan. You cannot and should have not represented others, be it Malay gays or lesbians or other queers. You cannot even declare yourself as a gay, as being a gay Muslim is not accepted here, not now and maybe not in a million years after we are dead and gone.

Now if you really think you want to represent gay Malays by not insulting Islam, you have to consult others including your family members, the experts i.e psychologist, sociologist, legal advisers and the authorities, whether what you are doing is right or wrong according to the legal system, the religion and whether its against the cultural norms. All these are part and parcel of being a decent being living in a society that abides to cultural norms and civility.

We know about your intentions and the project: STATEMENT FROM SEKSUALITI MERDEKA, which is in response to accounts of suicides and attempted suicides by LGBT teenagers and adults. Statistics of such suicides are as stated -- between three to six times higher than by heterosexuals.

But that is not a good reason to justify what you are doing.

We also understand why you consider it unfair or irresponsible (according to the site) of the Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Datuk Seri Jamil Khir Baharom to ask JAKIM to monitor the activities of gay groups, while failing to ask JAKIM to criminalise those who post abusive and vulgar comments which threaten Malaysian citizens with violence and death.

Both the minister and JAKIM are just doing their jobs and abiding to what the norms that the majority wants. Of course all the threats and abusive comments are wrong whether it is being condemned, criminalised or not. And no matter what injustices that are being done to you if ever the threats are being physically committed, there is always the law you can depend on.

If you do not want to abide to the norms, it may be okay for you alone, but keep it to yourself. You cannot or should not encourage or incite others to follow you. A lot of people will hate and lynch you for doing that, and these hate-mongering acts by people with access to power can do a lot of harm to you and your family, who may be a bystander in this example.

Hate-mongering is not easy to eradicate.

Now you see, by doing what you did, you are not just harming yourself alone, but your family too. Your heterosexual friends and colleagues might pity you, but they would now prefer to avoid you. You will feel more stigmatized now, then you would have been, before going public.

I know you are trying to be honest of yourself and your sexuality and at the same time not be a hypocrite. But being honest or doing a "pengakuan berani mati" in a country or a society that thrives of innuendo and nudge-wink insinuations is an act of digging your own grave.

As succinctly portrayed by Amir Muhammad in Who is Azwan Ismail and why are some people saying terrible things about him? what you did was what I have just said: violating the code of faham-faham ajelah or kalau ya pun, janganlah buat terang-terang.

Maybe these pepatahs can be a conclusion to the moral of the story : "Cakap siang pandang-pandang, cakap malam dengar-dengar.....". But I wouldn't fully agree with the other pepatah: "Terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata buruk padahnya!"...I think terlajak kata pun boleh undur...how? by going public again and apologize la..like what this Ammar did!

Okay, Ammar did not confess about being gay, but what he did by apologizing after doing something wrong to the media is commendable.

But of course, in Azwan Ismail's case it will take a very courageous Malay Muslim gay to do that. But by just apologizing that you are wrong to go public with the admission or admitting that being gay and Muslim is contradicting is suffice.

And for the gay supporters, you can say otherwise as I also believe in free speech and I too stand to be corrected.

Now, can I be famous for that? No!

Related article: GayMuslims