Media endorsement towards blogs is hogwash

About 5 months ago (3 December 2009), I put forward a critical question in a blog post: Is mainstream media endorsing blogs?

The poser wasn't actually a blanket declaration questioning all mainstream media or in this case, a major newspaper!

It was actually a satire (or sarcastic note, if you wish). The points I raise was about the swiftness by the gate-keepers at Utusan Malaysia in deciding whether certain news from a blog posting were deemed good enough to be front-paged. Furthermore, the story hasn't been verified. It was only an accusation or a claim made by certain bloggers, who didn't even have balls to reveal their real names.

Today, Utusan Malaysia is again at their imprudent best to implicate their enemies with another one of their so-called exposes. Implying that certain PAS members in YB Nik Aziz Nik Mat's government had paid some RM4 million to Shekh Kickdefella, the paper went on its rampage to quote details of the blog entry.


Apart from maintaining a PR job to uphold the people's trust on the PAS led Kelantan government, which is quite noble, the blogger's other assignment was to degrade and tarnish the credibilty of former PM Abdullah Ahmad Badawi's administration.

Not considering whether the accusation can be verified by cross checking them with other possible facts, Utusan went on to quote Kickdefella's challenge to his nemesis, Kelantan MB's press secretary, Ahmad Fadhli Shaari and another blogger, Tulang Besi.

Shekh wanted his enemies to disprove his accusation that apart from the money used in his operation to smear the Abdullah administration, there were also elements of corruption in the PAS administration.

Actually, there were more names spelt-out in the blog posting, but apart from those mentioned above, only his ex-boss at Permodalan Menteri Besar Kelantan (PMBK) and long time arch-rival, Abdul Ariffahmi Ab Rahman, son-in-law of Kelantan MB, was given special mention by Utusan.

The ex-CEO of the controversial Kelantan State investment arm was said to have been involved in corrupt practices while in office, during the blogger's presence as a PR Executive there.

Okay, Utusan's loose cannon act aside, I don't know quite sure what this Shekh Kickdefella is up to.

But one thing I'm sure is that he's gone overboard this time with this statement: "Saya menaruh keyakinan penuh bahawa YAB Dato’ Menteri Besar Kelantan, Tuan Guru Nik Abdul Aziz akan didakwa di antaranya atas kesalahan penyalahgunaan kuasa dan pecah amanah." and also "Kata orang, kalau kita mahu memerangkap seseorang, jangan ditanya padanya soalan yang kita sendiri tidak tahu jawapannya. Nanti habis kita dan sahabat kita pula yang terjerat."

Is he praying hard that the MB would be indicted and later haul up for the charges so that he can gloat over other people's misfortunes and then sleep soundly after that?

What if all this is wrong? I mean what if all the accusations can be explained in court and that it was not true, and after that the Kelantan MB acquitted. Wouldn't it make Kickdefella an asshole and the reputation of bloggers demeaned and the so-called Mainstream media endorsements towards blogs a hogwash?   

Think people! As a by-stander, although I don't really understand much about politics and its quest, but most of it just couldn't make sense. To me, politics is always about a win-loose, loose-win situation. No other alternative.

To all politically inclined smart-ass, no doubt we may not be dreaming of the same 'thoughts', but somehow I believe strange bedfellows could one day come up with a strange bright idea about a win-win situation in politics.

Let's kowtim instead.

And I digress.

A PhD (perangai hasad dengki) is a Social Disease

Dr Halili quits PKR after nomination day

The Hulu Selangor by election is over. Much has been talked about the outcome of the election and its results analyzed. Something which happened in the political scenario, or rather at the backyard of PKR's towards the nomination day was a subject of my concern.

Dato' Zaid Ibrahim

PKR decided to nominate Dato' Zaid Ibrahim, the former de facto Law Minister of Malaysia, a renowned lawyer with the biggest law firm in Malaysia and also a well endowed busineesman. He was also known as the former Kota Bharu MP, an ex-minister and ex-Senator.

A few days before nomination day, he was the PKR choice for the P094 HS candidate. A few days after nomination day we heard that Dr Halili of Hulu Selangor, the ex-1999 election candidate and PKR HS treasurer, who was also Dato Seri Anwar Ibrahim's long trusted ally and physician, turned an about face, quitted PKR and joined UMNO.

Much speculation was aired about his defection or betrayal. The neurosurgeon pre-emptively denied it has got anything to do with his being rejected as the candidate.

Who do you believe? Well, that's for him and Allah to know, His words of wisdom says "only Allah know what lies hidden and what you portray..."

But my take was the obvious. He was severely unhappy that he couldn't contest, after all he had all the obvious criteria; a local boy, a high qualification, a PKR branch committee, the previous parliamentary election candidate, etc..

In actual fact, often times, the top management people usually have very different reasons for their decision. they usually look at various intangible aspects, points of view or political angles to select a person for the specific job. you could be where you have been for the longest time, but you just did not fit into that job description.

There's a paramount danger to a society's structure of organization when some people arrogantly refused to concede to a decision that has been made. "Arrogant" people could become vicious when they think that a certain social position, a job promotion, an award, or a candidature is owed to them. These people will say that "I have been there since....", "I did that", "I was the one who made it happen", "I was the first...", etc, to make their claims legit.

The arrogance can be simply recognized by these criteria:

1). they like to demean other people, while show themselves off

2). they do not listen to others or become defensive, especially when advice comes from people of a lesser position than them

3). their opinion is always correct and other people is wrong

4). proud of their wealth, their position, beauty or their deeds, their family connections, their qualifications

5). walk with a pround stance

6). only mingle "in their social circles" or with people of their own "standards"

7). likes people to praise them, but angry with criticism and often likes to raise their voice to demoralize other people

8) do not apologize when they make mistakes

..... i guess the list could go on to be longer than this.

It's interesting how Nature makes its selection, and to illustrate this point i'd pen down my experiences in the last few months with people who are not satisfied with the order of "qada' and qadar" and retaliated. In the natural selection process, the weak gets eliminated by choice, virtue or simply by isolating themselves.

Case 1

A senior lecturer with "AP" was passed over for a Deputy Directorship at an Institute.

She went vehemently protesting to the top, to get her points across while at the same time undermining the credibility of the chosen person by spreading through the grapevine. although explanation has been given of the factors why the other person was elected, she was not satisfied and created further havoc. she went on to "test" the person's judgment and intentionally created a much deviated story/situation hoping for a potential unrest to arise among the top management.

when she did not get the results that she had hoped for, she threatened to quit. by all means, her wish was granted and she moved to another place. while in the process, she spread news about her previous workplace which was based on half truths and a lot of unsubstantiated claims of "hidden agenda" and conspiracy to see her fall. this was very mean, disloyal, backstabbing actions which sprung from an "arrogant" mind, putting a front of "injustice" to rationalize an action.

Case 2

A senior nursing supervisor submitted a long leave of absence when she was passed over in the promotion. the position was for the Assistant Director of Reserach in Clinical Service. the reason was because she was almost 100% sure she was going to get the post but instead a newbie from another hopsital with a Masters degree in Research was selected. i did not doubt that qualifications had won in this situation over seniority in service.

Case 3

Two persons with the same degree and qualifications attended a job interview, but one was a senior staff at the department and one was a newcomer from another department. although qualifications and an advantage in the job description was the factors favouring the second candidate, the first candidate felt threatened and could not accept he was not chosen for a promotion due to his seniority. this leads to a lot of dissatisfaction at the work place and further disruption to the integrity of the work ethics.

While i have illustrated the 3 cases with varying circumstances but ending on the same note of disgruntled employees whom could not save their face by accepting decisions and continously display resistance, there are people with strong minds and iman, who did otherwise.

Case 4

A very senior Deputy Registrar graciously accepted the fact that she was passed over in a big job promotion as the University's Registrar to a much younger "junior". when i interviewed her, she responded by saying "I accept the fact that this is God's given rezeki to me and it's what I'll have. i accept there must be a reason for this...". her will to accept this shows the magnitude of her Iman and Taqwa, which are two things that Allah put highly as criteria to ensure Heavenly rewards in the hereafter. Afterall, only your Iman and taqwa matters in the eyes of God, not your riches, your wealth or your position.

A psychiatrist term for the act of mental process to protect your ego and emotion and to survive an anxiety when you have been let down is called "Defence Mechanism". there are several forms of the mechanisms, which everyone could identify with at any point in your life.

For example, "Intelectualization" - a defence mechanism where you use reasoning to block the anxiety/anguish

"Rationalization" - which is a defence mechanism by way of concealing your true motivation in a non-threatening and rational way

"Repression" - a classic defence mechanism which protects you from ideas or impulses which could cause anxiety by not making them conscious

There are many other forms as described in text books, but what Muslims have is the strong faith in God the Almighty. Your belief that what you have in this world are all temporary possessions and they all belong to Him. He might lend it to you on a temporary basis and test you with the possession whether you will still remain faithful and submissive. if He should decide to take it away or give to someone else, well and good, that's a Possessor's prerogative. among these tests, Allah could test you with wives, children, positions, wealth, beauty, etc and just be prepared to not be carried away with His challenges.

Ciao!

BS: has been tested countless times... and the results? Wallahuaklam...

A change in pregnant mother's hobby to have blue-eyed babies

Is it really something strange to see a local Malay boy with blue eyes, that it gets the attention of a local newspaper?

I guess it does, when yesterday's Mingguan Malaysia covered a story from HUKM Medical Centre, Kuala Lumpur after interviewing an eye consultant, Professor Dr Ruszymah Idrus about the boy's eye condition.

Mohd Aizat Aiman Mohd Rizal, 16 months from Kampung Telok Amboi, Pulau Sayak, Kota Kuala Muda, Kedah was found to have changed his original eye color from black to blue. The color change was said to happen a few months after he was born, while his father Mohd Rizal Mohamad, 34 was also said to have a blue spot on his right eye.

The funny thing is that the newspaper also cheekily mentioned that the mother Noraini Ahmad, 31 likes to play with a blue-eyed cat, while pregnant with the child. Very superstitious indeed!
 

Those of you around my age would probably be familiar with the usual characters of the highly successful Western-themed television series of the 60s and 70s, The High Chaparral.

One of the most remembered characters in the series to me is Billy (Blue Boy), played by Mark Slade, the blonde haired and blue-eyed son of ranch patriarch John Cannon (Leif Erickson). This is probably due to his hasty and pampered attitude, apart from his famous Billy 'Blue Boy' name.

Like most people born white or with the Caucasian genes, we would agree that Mark Slade was genetically born 'blue eyed' as you can see in many of his pictures on the web. So, there's no question about why he was called 'Blue Boy' in the character or the reason why many white boys or girls who can have multicolored iris, as they are born with the genetic makeup and the physical factors to determine them.

Most Malaysians, or Asians in particular, albeit born with their own genetic makeup, are ambitious enough to change their looks in whatever artificial ways they could get hold of, despite paying a high price on it.

That is why here in Malaysia, you also get to see non-whites, or non-caucasian women, especially singers and actress (sometimes called artistes here) who feel that there is need to ape their white counterparts in whatever look, fashion or trend they can emulate.

And that include having clearer skin tones and coloured iris, albeit not having it genetically.

So, since we don't usually get to see blue eyed boys or babies born by mothers of the Asian descents here in Malaysia, at least this news might start to give some ideas to pregnant mothers (and fathers to be) to a change of heart in their attitudes towards getting pets with colored iris like cats or puppies as their hobbies.

Maybe the genetic makeup or the physical factors determining them would change over time while playing with these pets.

Hahahaha! It's really funny how some people can abuse their precious God gifted brain by having faith in superstitions....!

Should Malaysia have a noodles index too?

Since yesterday I tried to search this news on the web, but to no avail.

It was on TV news the other day and since I am also an Instant Noodles lover, it struck my puny mind to write or comment something about it.

Today I accidentally found it on a link on MC's Blog Review - Awas kepada penggemar mi segera, which brought me to this Sinar Harian online news titled: Jauhi mi segera elak penyakit kronik: CAP

I made a search for an English version of the news report , but no can do ~ sigh! It seems like the local English news/media isn't interested about what CAP has to offer. Or for them it could be just another one of those ~ "Ah! the same old exposé by that Idris guy!"

So, since the report dalam omputih dah tak dak, let's make do for the Malay version saja lah!:

Presiden Persatuan Pengguna Pulau Pinang (CAP), S M Mohamed Idris berkata, kajian CAP ke atas 10 sampel mi segera mendapati tiga daripadanya mengandungi natrium melebihi 1,000 miligram sedangkan saranan untuk orang dewasa dan kanak-kanak berusia empat tahun adalah 2,400 miligram sehari.

My simple translation: CAP President, S M Mohamed Idris said from a study they conducted with 10 samples of instant noodles (sold locally ~ I assume), they found that 3 contained more than 1,000 mg natrium. The required (limit) consumption of natrium for adults and children (above 4 years) is 2,400 mg a day (which doesn't make sense yet to me, maybe typo error kot!).

Okay, there are three things that excites me to give my POV here.

The first is that it involves our health and the other our economy. Both are actually intertwined. The third although is less important, but actually is crucial in solving the first one, and it can also help resolve the second, but since the project is still on the drawing board (as in mass-produced and made available locally), we can only dream it will be our savior, say 20 years down the road (no, I'm just kidding).

Okay, first it is true that consuming (eating-lah) instant noodles is unhealthy.

No need scientific proof or all the evidence based bull-shit rhetoric to back this claim. Even a primary school kid who learns basic science can tell you that the high contents of monosodium glutamate in a cooked instant noodles is detrimental to health.

Now it seems like CAP has found that the high contents of natrium or sodium is another unhealthy culprit. What is sodium in simple words? Salt lah!. Garam berlebihan memanglah bahaya untuk kesihatan! Patutlah English news media tak nak buat report! Benda recycle!

A cooked instant noodles, soup style is said to contain more than 60% U.S. RDA (Recommended Dietary Allowance) of 1,200-1,440 mg. In some cases (brands), it is found that a bowl of cooked instant noodles contained more than 3,000 mg natrium (more than 100%). Refer here.

So, selesai bab satu and now for the second chapter.

Now, why is it that after knowing all these unhealthy cliched infos, we still melantak Mee Maggi and the like, as if tak dak benda lain dah nak makan.

There are two reasons for this (healthy) advise ignored or go unheeded as far as Malaysians are concerned.

The first is lazy-lah (malas nak masak, malas nak pi pasar, malas nak stok barang basah, malas nak keluaq pi makan kat kedai).  So, nak senang cerita melantak Maggi Mi lah. Then, nak bagi benda Allah (rezeki) tu berkhasiat sikit, kita tambahlah sayur, cendawan, udang, ikan bilis, telor dan apa-apa yang ada dalam fridge. So, taklah rasa guilty sangat.

The second reason is ongkosnya short ~ Malaysians, some of which are living below the poverty line, can't afford the luxury of having a nourished cooked meal 2 or 3 times a day. The only other alternative is a hot home cooked noodles which cost below RM1.00. Pekena pulak dengan teh-o panas buat sendiri, kosnya cuma 20 sen kut!

So, since many Malaysians nowadays prefer to cook their own instant noodles because they live below the (relative) poverty line, shouldn't we too have the 'Indeks mi segera' or Mama Mee Index like Thailand as an economic barometer to gauge the pace of our economy?

In Thailand circa 2005, when the economy gets bad, the sales of Mama, the country's top-selling brand of instant noodles, shoot up, according to economists and businesspeople there. Maybe here, in Malaysia we too can use Maggi, the top selling instant noodles as the equivalent for research.

Okay, enough about that, which also concludes my second chapter for this posting. You want to know more about the Mama Mee Index, pi carik sendiri.

The last one is about USM's research on the healthy noodles or Neodles, which is said to be safe for diabetics. It seems convincing enough to me, since it was developed by food scientist. But where can we find these Neodles, or whatever its brand name is?

School of Industrial Technology lecturer Associate Prof Azhar Mat Easa said the product was friendly to diabetics, weight-watchers and the obese. Azhar also said there were plans to export Neodles if Malaysians took to the product.

The news report found in the USM news portal said it would hit the local market in February this year. But now it is already the end of April. Of course we would like to try it, if it taste as good, but where can we find Neodles?

This is among the problems plagueing products developed by local scientist and researchers. Ada angin ada ribut, tapi tak dak hujan. 

Habis satu entry.
Nak balik makan Mi Maggi! Ada dua paket lagi kat rumah.

Phobic reality

Over RED FM today, there was a lively discussion regarding Phobias, and i suddenly found out my unreasonable "fears" wasn't as rare i had thought.

"Phobia"
is defined by unreasonable fear of a place, object or situations more than they have reason to be. This results in exaggerated behaviour to avoid the concerned fears, to reduce the anxiety.

I think I have 2 great phobias;

1. claustrophobia - fear of closed spaces

2. zoophobia - fear of animals

I'm really afraid of getting into confined spaces. getting into the lifts would make my heart beat faster, the more people inside a lift, caused my heart to flutter more. i also dislike being in a crowded train coach. it made me feel suffocated, my heart would start to race and i'd be feeling faint, a situation that could come clause to losing consciousness. being in a low-roofed cave, would bring about the most terrible experience of anxiety for me.

I once visited Gua Kelam in Perlis, which was lit up with fluorescent lights the whole way. But no, 10 steps into the cave, i started to feel the roof was caving in, started to feel breathless and ran as fast as i could to the entrance to save myself from further embarrassment.

i once watched a CSI vegas episode where they showed one of the CSI members was kidnapped and kept in casket and buried underground in a park. i didn't realize i suffered during the whole episode, until i felt sweaty, my hands were trembling and i was breathing very raggedly. just watching someone else going through the experience was enough to physically affect me!

My phobia arises due to a terrible childhood experience that I had. when i was small, my older brothers and sisters slept in a big room together. upon waking up in the morning we had to tidy up the room and keeping the sponge mattresses stacked up at the end of the room. one fine day, while i was heavily lifting up my mattress, my elder brother jumped and heaped up his pillows and mattress on top of me. this surprised the hell out of me and made worse by another sister/brother (I forgot who they were), spread eagled on top of us. i was trapped at the bottom within heaps of mattresses and pillows and human bodies. i nearly suffocated due to the weight and suffocation. this happened for a few minutes until i was finally rescued by my mother who later reprimanded my older siblings. but the few minutes i was under had deeply traumatized me that until now i have strong aversion of a closed space.

I'd admit that my training as a doctor has enlightened me of this panic/anxiety disorder and i have desensitized myself a bit. otherwise i would be a complete wreck when it comes to getting into elevators, buses or trains. Thank God!

The second type of phobia was developed over a subsequent episode with LIZARDS, thus the animal phobia or zoophobia.

Have you ever heard that killing lizards on a Friday night would give you extra "pahala" (heavenly returns)? when I was small, this was drummed into me by numerous stories about how lizards endangered Nabi Muhammad SAW when he was hiding from the evil Musyrikin people in a cave. While the spiders spun webs to protect the entrance of the cave, giving the idea that no one had passed thru the entrance, the lizards made so much noise to give him away.

So with this unconfirmed folklore in our heads, my friends and I went lizard hunting on a Friday night, way back during my boarding school days. armed with rubber bands, we went corridors by corridors attacking those innocent lizards, making them lose their tails, injured, or dead. all would be awarded by loud cheers from the hunters.

that night, i had a very bad nightmare where tens of lizards hunted me, they went into all orifices potentially opened for entrance into my body, especially my ears! i fought with my fist, flailed my hands, struggled, turned my heads and raised my arms. i was really fighting to the death! when i opened my eyes, my blanket was tightly twisted around my body getting all over my head and covered my face, rendered me nearly asphyxiated!

So that was then. eversince that, i had a severe case of lizard aversion, may be out of guilt? however, the story did not just end there. I thought lizards never let me get away with what i had done much earlier in my life to their species. at university, one incident happened where i thought was a clear case of lizard revenge. i had left a mug of Milo on my nightstand and later i found my nemesis swimming in it! another association with the uncouth creature happened, during a time when i was deeply engrossed reading my story book, a lizard flew out of nowhere and landed on the page i was reading!

if i had slightly countered my fears of confined spaces, i still have an uphill battle with the lizards. may be it's to be a constant reminder of my wickedness over an innocent life form...

Depressive episode by a disruptive behaviour

It often surprised me how parents can tolerate their children to use self-pronouns (kata gantinama diri) "aku" and "kau" towards them, which to me sounds overbearingly ill-mannered.

When the children from the northern states used the words "hang" and "aku" to converse with their parents/elders, putting them on the same level with their friends, this is exceedingly rude, bordering on offensive behaviour.

Last weekend was especially trying for both IM and me, physically and mentally.

We were bogged down with office work, he worked on both days while I spent the whole of Saturday poring over multiple choice questions and essays, almost puking...! On top of that, we had some relatives who came to visit. So you could imagine what sort of a weekend that was.

Amidst my being so engrossed with work, I couldn't help but noticed that IM was involved in a chronic, recurrent problem which usually was not worthy of my attention. Ignorance is a blessing, wouldn't you agree? Anyway, IM was always so capable.

On Sunday afternoon I was bothered with an overrated text message which I had ignored. Similarly, IM had unceremoniously ignored all the irritating messages sent to him too.

Until Monday morning, the messages came in persistently. When I asked him, and received some muffled answers, I took it upon myself to open the message inbox myself. These are what I found (word for word):

"Htr duit blnja mkn hbs dh, fham x!.nk mkn pn xdak duit dah ni!dh htang kt kwn smpai 150 xbyr2 pn lg ni!!semua ayh pya psal.."

IM ignored the messages because it was only on Saturday (two days ago) that he had sent her RM100, and a few days earlier RM70. But the RM100 on Saturday was certainly insufficient for her, for she said she had to pay for the house rent that she shared among her friends.

But IM knew better of her schemes, which is why he seldom entertains all her whims and fancies, especially with regards to the amount of living expenses she demanded.

Nonetheless, IM replied with a short answer to her last request.."Duit elaun (kan) ada..!", meaning she also had monthly allowances from the college amounting to RM260 a month, for which she can use it, apart from the money that her father sent her every week (twice a week in some cases).

Aroused with the simple reply, she threatened her father with an angry reply : "Ayh jgn bgi smpai (her name) buat psai blh x...(her name) dk bjar elok2 ni stg jd benda len!!! Klu ayh suruh guna duit 2 boleh. (her name) nak kerta viva skrg jgk!! Mampus la pi nk jd apa.tgk la (her name) wt apa!

Unfazed with her tyrannical act, IM replied: "Dh msk RM50..", which wasn't deposited yet as we were just getting into our car to go to work.

She got really angry this time and answered back with: "INGAT AQ MKAN MAKANAN SAMPAH KA"

After a lapse of a few minutes and IM still on his 'ignorant" mode, she became agitated and continued with the tyranny, and this time using words no parents can ever imagine their children could ever use on them:

"BABI LA HG NI. KT K(our maid's name) BG MTO BRU. HAMPA MKAN SEDAP2. P MELANCONG SINI SNA. P SHOPPING. NAK BG ANAK MKN PN XDAK DUIT. BG 50 HANG INGAT AQ MKN SAMPAH KA? HANG TGK JA AQ BUAT APA TAU..!!"

OMG! In the next instant I was enveloped by so much anger, I was nearly explosive! But IM was so calm about it. I wonder if I was the only person who was over-reacting. If I had received those kind of abusiveness from my own flesh and blood, I would certainly knee-jerked on it.

Those vicious and nasty words, I couldn't imagine came out of a child to her own father. A father, whom she had forgotten that without him, she would not have been here on this world, a father who had lovingly nurtured, fed, and clothed her, who had sent her to school to be educated, provided her a roof to stay under, to be safe and who had anxiously embraced and sought treatment when she was sick, attended to her until she was healed.

That was what IM to her, and even more. Surely he did not deserve these, when again she peppered her father with more abusive words:

"BABI AKU MINTA DUIT ELOK2 HANG XBAGI KN.MEMANG HANG SKA AKU CAKAP KURANG AJAR."

A few minutes later again another message came in, but this time without the caps (capital letters):

"Hg ni mmg mcm sial ckp.aq tau dh hg.bodoh."

Another lapse of a few seconds, another one came in:

"Aku benci hang seumur hdup aq!!hang mati pn aku xmau p tgk tau"

At this point IM relented, and as we reached the bank IM replied her: "Dh msk rm100 utk 10hari"

Unsatisfied with the amount, she replied: "Aq nak 1mgu rm150.mcm dlu.!!"

I cried in my heart after looking at IM, as he looked physically tired of this episode, because of all the bottled up emotions. I reminded myself that we had to check our emotions and "take control over things that are within our control".

This brought on my search on the net over the subject. During my training as a physician, I recognized this erratic behaviour as a characteristic belonging to a psychiatric disorder, so I conducted further search that revealed this:

“Personality disorders, formerly referred to as character disorders, are a class of personality types and behaviors that the American Psychiatric Association (APA) defines as "an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

Personality disorder is not an illness you catch or are born with, but is a “way of being” you develop while growing up. It means some aspects of your personality cause repeated problems in life - particularly with relationships. The troubled relationships can be with family and friends, work and care services – and frequently with all of them”.

My take on the subject- Growing up with a mentally unstable mother, with erratic behavior and labile everyday life judgment have probably done a lot of damage? As a result, an individual with personality disorder have a poor adaptation to crisis and thus unable to sustain a relationship with the people in his/her environment. They do not have the ability to reach out to people, which is difficult when they have the idea that everybody else owes them something, and because to have everything they ask for is their priviledge, and not something they have to earn.

I read further on the subject here; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_disorder

and more description on the characteristics which fall under this classification here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissocial_personality_disorder#Diagnostic_criteria_.28ICD-10.29_-_dissocial_personality_disorder.E2.80.8E

it's that or borderline personality disorder which I read at:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

It comforted me to a degree that I could compartmentalize a problem. A strategy where you tackle a portion of a bigger problem at your will, in your own time and capacity. Sometimes, when you do it that way some problems might go away on its own, after all, time is a great healer.

But more than that I tried to gauge whether the problem is more emotional rather than academic. Having to manage a problem from an academic point of view makes it less emotional.

However, the problem at hand needs a solution. after reading at length, I realized the mountain of anxiety and hardship that are ahead of us and I pray that IM will be strong. More importantly, I have to be stronger, for him....

Can cyberspace be cluttered with trash and is it biodegradable?

On Monday, a lecturer from my university days wrote this on my FB wall...

Are you a blogger now? Everyone seems to have something to write. So cyberspace will be cluttered with trash but thankful it is biodegradable...

Of course I would have replied to the first question and further concurred with the second. But the statement "So cyberspace will be cluttered with trash but thankful it is biodegradable.." stunted my usually quick reaction to reply anything on my FB wall.

I wasn't angry at the statement she made, but it kept me thinking. She could be right, but she could also be wrong.

For two days, I kept the status as it is. I do not know why, but I simply could not answer her, as if the statement is so BIG and it made me dumbfounded.

I asked myself again, will cyberspace be cluttered with trash and is it (blogs or any write-ups on the internet) truly biodegradable?

First I would agree that cyberspace can be cluttered with trash if the contents of the blog or a certain write-up are filled with insignificant things, trashy materials and malicious lies about others. And this includes excessive politicking, promoting bias and injustice, racial intolerance, religious bigotry, finger-pointing or backstabbing others and the like. 

The internet is like any other medium or publication, be it print or any other electronic publications like TV, film and radio broadcasting. Wrongly utilized or used excessively, it can backfire and become a hindrance to peace, harmony and democracy.

Is it biodegradable? Meaning if we want to reduce clutter in cyberspace, can we degrade all the thrash material by deleting or reformatting them?

First of all, the term biodegradable is usually used with another word -- waste -- as in biodegradable waste. This type of waste typically originates from plant or animal sources, which may be broken down by other living organisms 

According to wikipedia, the origination of the word comes from Bio-degrade or Biodegradation

Another word usually used with it is -- matter -- as in biodegradable matter. Biodegradable matter is generally organic material such as plant and animal matter and other substances originating from living organisms, or artificial materials that are similar enough to plant and animal matter to be put to use by microorganisms. Read the whole article here

So, can the word 'biodegradable' be used to describe the point raised here?

Nope! 

Is it a misnomer?

Yes, I suppose!

So, what's the correct word?

If you are talking about computer data -- it can be deleted or formatted. But if you are talking about materials written on the internet, it can be ignored by not accessing the web-page, as usually you are duly warned of the contents by the name of the page.

Be mindful of what you are reading. And if you accidentally did (access it), you can ignore it by not reading them. But if do want to read them, be very skeptical of the contents. Verify everything you think is dubious with another website that is credible. Try not to access any website that you think is offensive or sensitive to your belief.

For example, if you are offended or sensitive with write-ups about politics by bloggers, try not to click on anything that has a political connotation, blog or wordpress on the URL/address.

So, the correct word that should be used is either "IGNORED or VERIFIED" or both.

"So cyberspace will be cluttered with trash but thankful it (the contents) can be ignored or verified.."

And may I add..by right thinking, well-informed and educated people.

Unfortunately, not everybody can be well-educated, as having a well-rounded education nowadays can be very pricey. 

But thankfully, with the dwindling cost of owning a computer and accessing the internet, one can surely be well informed. But that depends if you know how to (verify them). 

So, that's my "short" reply to my dearest lecturer, Ms Monica Chn'g. Thank you for being my teacher and helping me develop my critical mind into someone who likes to think out-of-the-box (although it does not usually work).

p/s: please do visit my FB and write on my wall once in a while. I do appreciate that. Thanks.

A Digital Detox message from Ad Busters

Hey Jammers and Creatives,

We are all living through the digital revolution, an amazing, exciting time where knowledge is free and the world is at our fingertips. But there is a dark side to our digital emancipation. Jumping brain syndrome, decreased creativity, isolation and depression all stem from an overload of instantly accessible media.

Next week during Digital Detox Week we urge you to take some time to pull back from the wired world and assess the damage. Rethink your love affair with technology, stop obsessing over your virtual life, get outside and reignite your relationships with each other. You don't have to go cold turkey on the screens in your life – we won't. Simply take a few small steps away from them every day.

To help prepare you for this challenge here are links to some of the most inspiring mental environmental stories we've run recently:

The End of Childhood
Children who spend more time inside than in the wilderness experience poorer health in adulthood. We must let them roam free.

Virtual Morality
As videogames create better, more immersive models of reality, are we free to do anything we want in a virtual world, or are some things still inherently wrong?

Quit Facebook
The decision to destroy my carefully built-up virtual image came as a result of wanting to enhance my profile.

The Era of Simulation
Consequences of a digital revolution.

Happy Detoxing,
The Adbusters Team

When you cut off the arterial blood to an organ, the organ dies. When you cut the flow of nature into people's lives their spirit dies. It's as simple as that … Check out Adbusters "Ecopsychology" issue on newsstands this week.

Why Men want Sex and Women need Love?

I am a very slow reader.

I tend to stall when reading, especially serious articles.

Each time I read a paragraph of a book or news article, I would try to reflect the meaning of the sentences with my inner self and the people around me. Then I would ponder endlessly.

Last night I had only finished chapter 2 from the book "Why Men want Sex and Women need Love: Solving the Mystery of Attraction", bought about 2 weeks ago.

My daughter Nurul, 13 years (first former) had finished reading her thick romance novel, bought on the same day.

When she saw I was still struggling reading the book last night, she laughed at me.

"Ayah tak habis baca lagi buku tu...hee..hee..., Nur dah habis baca buku novel tebal tu...!" she boasted happily.

"Nah ambil baca buku ni pulak...!" I offered her.

"Tak reti lah, buku omputih..." she replied.

The mum who was then just listening, defended me.

"Buku yang ayah baca tu kena analyse, bukan baca saja macam buku cerita...!" she quipped.

And this was what gave me the idea to write this entry, which was earlier titled "The slow reader's analysis on "WMWS&WNL".

A few days ago, my wife also laughed at the choice of books I usually read. The other book I was reading before I got hold of this one was "Dating the Divorce Man" by Christie Hartman, Ph.D.

Of course, the mum, like the daughter, are ardent fan of romance novels, which fit the proverb like mother, like daughter (the female equivalent of like father, like son). Read about my other posting on her reading habits and other stuff in my other blog here.

Unfazed of all the reactions about my reading habits, I continued reading the last part of chapter 2 and pondered endlessly.

Allow me to share some of it here with you readers.

The authors, Allan & Barbara Pease summarised chapter 2 by emphasizing that relationships are now more difficult to start and harder to keep as compared to past generations. Our expectations of each other are at unprecedented levels, yet being in love and being loved are still as vital to humans for good health and survival as they ever were. Studies show that married people live longer, with lower mortality rates for almost every disease, than single, separated, widowed or divorced people.

However, the most revealing part on this chapter may be on the relationship part, where men are expected to be softhearted and feminine in some situations, while being bold and masculine in others. Women, on the other hand are expected to be self supporting and technically savvy, just like men.

I quote: "Unrealistic expectations are a significant contributor to relationship breakups. Women are exposed to hundreds of images of the 'new man' in phony romantic situations involving supposedly 'macho men' who think, talk and react like women. These men have chiseled bodies, expensive clothing, hairy chest and neatly trimmed beards and are eager to listen to women talk about relationships and their lives. These images are reinforced in women's magazine, which make a woman feel that she must be the only one who isn't married to a hunky guy like the ones in The Young and the Restless. Consequently, studies reveal that women who spend their time reading romance novels based on fantasy never feel happy with their lives, although studies also found that they usually have more orgasms than non-readers."

The writers then went on to describe the expectations of men in the early 60's with John Wayne and Cary Grant as their idols and compare them with their counterpart of the new generation. Since the 70's, with the emergence of feminized women society, women's expectations of men and relationships have changed.

I quote: "The bar for what women expect from men is raised almost annually by the media and Hollywood, to the point where many men have simply given up trying. Women are expected to live up with the images of the perfect starlets on the cover of women's magazines, but it's even tougher for men, because at least women's magazine show you what you're supposed to look like -- men's magazine don't. The new perfect male for the 21st century should be a warrior in the workplace; a metro-sexual marvel when it comes to clothes, cooking and decoration; a stud in the bedroom; a six-pack god in the gym; a perfect dad; a friend who loves listening to women talk about their problems; and a sensitive guy who cries when he watches Beaches and Romeo and Juliet. Unfortunately for most women, this type of man usually has a boyfriend."

These unrealistic expectations that are constantly being thrust at us have somewhat affected dating and marital relationship to a level unseen or unheard of before.

Yes, many among us would agree that Hollywood and the media have played a significant role in determining how we think and react to what we want, own or desire. These images have been pumped into our heads for two generations and have resulted in men and women to take drastic actions to be the perfect macho "Marlboro Man" or the perfect "Sex Goddess" as presented on screen.

The line between reality and fantasy has become blurred, so blurred that we expect our partners to be like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. Although at times we believe that all these are fake images, pretend romances and artificial glamour, yet we expect our partners to emulate these images in real life.

But before long, or as long as the disillusion may set in, that both men and women would finally realized that their partner are in reality just a normal human being. No more Brad Pitt, or Angelina Jolie by our side. Just the ordinary Pakwe and Makwe or Paknya and Maknya.

Until or unless the relationship has soured to a serious extent, then we have to face with the reality that it has finally come to a point where we have to decide whether to mend it or leave it behind to only gather memories.

Wife abuses husband with 5 times a day sexual marathon

David BeckhamVictoria Beckham

I had a good laugh when reading the news that Broody Victoria Beckham demands sex with David five times daily to fall pregnant.

Victoria, who longs for a daughter, has set up a baby chart showing the best times to conceive.

The DailyFill has the story here

The Sun UK also has the story here

Such a tall order for a player who not only uses lots of stamina on the soccer field to beat his opponent, but also has to struggle to keep up with his rampant missus' demands.

David is now recovering from an injury in Los Angeles while Victoria is on a business trip in London.

Earlier, the 34 year old David has told friends that he is limping around with strapping on his Achilles tendon. As a good and obedient husband, David says he is not complaining. But with all the strapping on his foot just getting about is hard enough, let alone bedroom gymnastics five times a day.

Five times a day...! you better believe it. I think David will not only be limping around with a strap, he will also be carrying around a limp dick.

So you see girls, not only men demand extravagant sex from women, but with this example, it is now the other way around. Victoria is really abusing his husband's crotch. 

Now, maybe we've heard about husbands demanding sex many times a day from their wives, and nobody is making any noise...until or unless the wife refuses and the husband would be left with an excuse to stray around...! 

David, now tired after having sex with Victoria 5 times a day

More pics of the couple's photoshot having sex here

Waxing lyrical on Apples -- Are they safe?

I bet many of us have received this kind of warning in our mail-box. But how true is it?

Be Careful when eating apples

Please don't eat the skin of the apple because it's coated with wax.
Check before you eat many of the fruits.
WAX is being used for preservation purposes and cold storage.
You might be surprised especially apples from USA and other parts are more than one year old, though it would look fresh. Becoz wax is coated, preventing bacteria to enter. So it does not get dry.
Please Eat Apples after removing the wax as demonstrated below. Please follow this and let know others...........







Now, in all honesty, I don’t know if this is a hoax or not. They could really be using wax on apples to keep them fresh.

So let's find out what we can from the Internet itself.

The U.S. Apple Association says:
Waxes have been used on fruits and vegetables since the 1920s. They are all made from natural ingredients, and are certified by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to be safe to eat. They come from natural sources including carnauba wax, from the leaves of a Brazilian palm; candellia wax, derived from reed-like desert plants of the genus Euphorbia; and food-grade shellac, which comes from a secretion of the lac bug found in India and Pakistan. These waxes are also approved for use as food additives for candy and pastries.

The commercial waxes do not easily wash off because they adhere to any natural wax remaining on the fruit after cleaning. Waxed produce can be scrubbed with a vegetable brush briefly in lukewarm water and rinsed before eating to remove wax and surface dirt. 

Therefore, scraping the wax using a penknife or washing it using detergents on porous foods like apples are not recommended!  

Chennai also has a report from the fruit traders' association

Waxed apples are safe & edible

As the apples travel long distances and are perishable in nature, edible wax such as Carnauba wax and Shellac wax are coated on them to raise their shelf-life," he said, adding, "These apples are cleared by the US Food and Drug Administration and once the apples arrive in the country, they get necessary clearance from customs and government-authorised labs, stating that they are safe to consume."

Julie Deardrof from Julie's Health Club answers:
"Waxing apples allows them to be picked earlier and stored longer," said Kohlstadt. "A side effect [of earlier picking] is that there are fewer minerals and vitamins. The peels and seeds (for the few of us who eat them) are the most vitamin-rich parts of the apple. So I don't recommend peeling the apples. A tablespoon of lemon juice and a tablespoon of baking soda can be added to a sinkful of water to make a good scrubbing solution.  This can remove the wax and any pesticides which might be trapped underneath it."

Gabe Mirkin, M.D. wrote in his WAX ON APPLES:

Many fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans, seeds and nuts and vegetables that you buy in super markets are covered with wax to keep them from rotting. The Food and Drug administration reports that most waxes used to prolong the shelf life of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans, seeds and nuts and vegetables are safe and are made from wax and other oils extracted from plant leaves and wax made by the lace bug.

The Food and Drug Administration has also found that the commonly-used fungicides in waxes are also safe. The only reasonable concerns about these waxes comes from vegetarians and religious groups.

So, there you are. Many of the articles produced on the Internet say that the wax used on apples are practically safe for consumption.

The only problem for some of us would lie on this next statement: 

Some waxes are made from beef tallow, which would offend Seventh-day Adventists who don't eat meat and many Orthodox Jews and Moslems who don't eat meat (slaughtered not according to rituals), so they would have to avoid waxed fruits and vegetables when they use dairy products. 

However, American producers do not use waxes of animal origin, but many foreign shippers do.

Correcting Vision Disorders

This is my latest blog for the book project. 

 Nothing substantial yet, just some postings on selected topics gathered from the internet slated for the project.

Click on it to view.

Correcting Vision Disorders

'Snot my fault if the connection is slow.

 

Light at the end of the tunnel...

My significant other wants to write a book.

Actually she voiced this to me many moons ago and wanted my help to find a suitable subject.

She said it may not be an academic book, although her carrier involves one. The important thing is that she has to have one that may make her CV look nice.

It may sound as if just because many of her peers have their names on a book cover, so she should have one too. But it is actually more complicated than that.

It has been sometime ago that she had her name on a book cover. But this time around she wants to have her name on it alone, if possible. Compiled and edited by is okay, but no more a co-author.

Until yesterday she is still clueless about what she wants to write about.

So, last night I threw her this proposition. I asked her if she had read about the latest breakthrough in eye therapy - the bionic eye. She said she had read about it a few years ago but was not interested because it is not what she is working on.

She said it is not something that she can write or comment about if she is not into it technically. Furthermore, she said the technology is about bionics and physics, not the biology or physiology, of which she is involved with.

I argued she doesn't have to know or needs to detail out the nitty-gritty technical parts with the write-up. She may be specialised with the biological of physiological aspects of it, so she can write what she thinks about the bionic eye with regards to her knowledge.

And that the book is a semi-academic, meant for the lay but educated person -- those with a basic understanding of science, at least at the secondary level -- better still at the tertiary level.

And of course more ideas were thrown in...and many of my suggestions were either met with acquiescence, with modification or mere rejection. Some were emphasized while others were subjected to further discussion and analysis.

And that I will help compile all the materials for her and also do the basic write-up and leave the editing part to her, provided she gets to do the gritty part of it -- detailing the table of contents.

And finally she agreed.

Then I threw her the proposition of my imaginary title of the book as stated in the title of this blog entry.

Ermmm...no, she said it could be the running or subtitle, but not the real title of the book...

So, she threw her idea of the title of book and I jot it down....

And so, there you go, another productive day on 1st of April.

But no, this is not an April Fools joke. (Bukan cobaan... tapi betul-betul...).

And tonight, to make sure this project becomes a reality, I am going to throw her another proposition.

Nak tau apa...?

Esok sajalah....