My Mother's Day Notes

Wife and me

I realized the gloomy look on my wife’s face.

Her gestures also tell me that something is wrong.

When I asked why, she said “panaslah hari ni…”

I know that she knew that I know that it wasn’t the real reason she was a little bit on the edgy side.

She understands me very well. Conversely, so do I.

I know she was a little bit upset that I had not accompanied her to the mall today.

I did ask a stupid question why she took so long at the supermarket. She got a little upset and answered I should have been with her as Aiza (12 year old son) was not much of a help.

Later in the day I told her it was mother’s day today and mentioned about the status on our friends FB wall.

“Hmm…takda sapa pun nak ucapkan happy mother’s day kat I..?” she cried.

I kept quiet and but I was giggling inside….heheh!

But knowing that she knew very well of my sense of sarcastic humour, I did not try to turn her weep into a cruel joke (as I always sometimes do).

That evening I took the right moment to hug and kiss her and expressed my heartfelt thanks to her (as a mother). She smiled and said..”I nak bunga…!”

I replied, “nanti kita pergi taman kat belakang tu I petikkan bunga…!”

That evening we went out for a sumptuous sea-food dinner with the children at a sea-side restaurant in Marina Bay, courtesy of third daughter.

She just completed her diploma (in Agro-Business) and was getting her first full pay for last month working as a clerk at an electronics shop. We were pestering her to belanja us makan and it was a sort of pay-day for her. So, since today was mother’s day, it was really nice that she fulfilled her duty to make all of us happy on this lovely occasion.

Just before we were to call the day off my wife asked if I was ‘happy’ and I said yes. “ …if you are happy then I am happy too..” she rejoiced. I knew what she meant and we both went into a slumber.

It was really a day to remember.

But that was yesterday..

Today I stumbled on some friend’s FB status and read about how they reminisced their mother in their younger days.

One of them remembered how her mom likes to make a pocket on in front of her baju kurung which is quite odd. FYI the baju kurung fashion in those days (and today still) does not have front pocket/s. Only Baju Melayu worn by Malay boys (and men) have pockets, usually 3 in front (one on the left top and two below).

If you are an FB friend of Nani-Syed Osman you can read her beautiful notes about how she remembers her mom in: Poket Depan Baju Kurung.

My wife also often reminisces her sweet moments with her mom and reminded me many times how she misses her. Every times she does that I listened to her attentively. Sometimes, she even cried while doing it.

I did not reciprocate by crying with her, but I do know how to understand her feelings when she does that. I buat muka sedih je!

I know… I know… mother’s love is a precious gift from God. 

It is something so worthy we can’t even exchange it with all the riches in the world.

Even if your mother is no longer around, but if you ever had mother’s love try to remember the beautiful moments you’ve had with her, and please do not lose them (the moments) – recall them, rekindle them, cherish them, adorn them, embellish them, treasure them.

In the end it will make your life more meaningful every time you mention of your mother and her love of you.

Somebody wrote a nice poem on a mother’s love:

A mother's love is a precious gift
To be treasured along life's highway
For the wonderful love they give
Will be taken from you someday.... (click here to continue reading the set of poems)

But what do I know about mother’s love?

I’ve never really remember I’ve had mother’s love.

How do I recall those moments, rekindle those moments, cherish those moments, adorn those moments, embellish those moments or even treasure those moments…when they weren’t there in the first place.

Mother died when I was a baby, when I was still supposed to be in her cradle, crying out for her hug, her love, her attention (and not to mention her milk).

But where were you mom, when I needed you and your love?

Why did you go so early when I needed you so badly like other babies do when they cry out for their mummy? Mummy…mummy…mummy…where are you?

I was barely three years old when she left me for good. 

But I was a strong kid. I didn’t cry when I was told later that my mother was gone.  

I remember some of my aunties cried and hugged me and told me about my mum’s passing away. But I couldn’t remember a word they say about her. However, I do understand that they felt sorry and told me that later I may be having a new mum.

So this is actually my answer to my wife and my friend’s lovely written notes:

I wish I had a moment to recall with my mother, but I have none!

I wish I had a mother to make me a Baju Melayu with many pockets, but I have none!

I wish I had a mother to help her with household chores but I have none!

I wish I had mother around to tell me about manners and how to behave, but I have none!

I wish I had a mother who would scold me when I am naughty, but I have none!

I wish I had a mother to correct me when I make mistakes, but I have none!

I wish to carry on with more wishes, but I think I’ll save myself and also you readers from those tears that are dwelling in your eyes…!

So for you people who still have a mother out there to reach out to, please do so while you can!

I am specifically talking about those who still have a mother but are “not on speaking terms” or “just not getting along well” … by intentionally and occasionally building a wall of arrogance between you and  your parents.

But at the end of the day you do have that sense or feeling that a set of maternal (or paternal) eyes are out there looking after you.

And you know what I mean.

Life’s too short to keep the flame of arrogance burning in our hearts. We the young ‘uns should be the ones that should bow in humility in front of our elders. Even if the elders are wrong.

You still have a mother, but many unlucky ones like me are without any (no more). So be there with her when you are supposed to (on Hari Raya or any other day),… before it’s too late.

To my mother Allahyarhamah XXXXXXXXX who died at the age of 29 (1934 - 1963) although I can't remember any sweet moments we've had together, you are still my mom. This is for you.

Happy Mother’s Day 2011.