When in Malawi, do not fart

There's wind blowing in a far away country that stipulates this in their legislation: it is illegal to fart in public!

The Local Courts Bill of Malawi, introduced earlier reads: "Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."

Actually, the law was first introduced in Malawi in 1929. But nobody in Malawi has been arrested nor convicted for farting under the old law, as police did not enforce it. 

Meanwhile, I have a few questions here:

Will there be a NO FART police section/department in charge of arresting people who blew away in public?

BTW, will it be farting with or without sound? and what about the element of odour? Will the charge for farting with a less stinking odour be lesser or what?

For example: Charge A - fart with sound and high stinking level. Charge B: fart with no sound with lesser stinking level. Charge C: fart with less sound but with very high stinking level...and the list goes on.....

And what about people farting in public swimming pools, where you can't hear sounds...but only see bubbles coming out....can it be considered an offense too?

What if the person who is caught farting says he/she did not fart? How do you present the facts in the court of law? How do you determine the enforcement personnel words against the accused (farter)?

And what if the person admits he/she did it before being convicted or brought to court? Can the person enter a plea bargain like by paying half the amount of fine, like we have it here in Bolehland?

Or is it just a saman ekor or 'saman kentut' in this case? Sekali kena saman, mesti bayar fine! No reviews, even though orang lain yang kentut!

Hahaha...what a windy joke...nak kentut pun tak boleh buat kat tempat awam, kena pi lari jauh-jauh...!

But if you think all the above statements are rumours or just dry jokes, try reading the news here:

Malawi row over whether new law bans farting

Menteri 'kentut' George Chaponda

Justice Minister George Chaponda says the new bill would criminalise flatulence to promote "public decency".

Malawian lawmakers will next week debate a law change to criminalise public farting, which a cabinet minister said had been encouraged by democracy.

President Bingu wa Mutharika

Chaponda, a key figure in President Bingu wa Mutharika's government, said that if Malawians cannot control their farting "they should go to the toilet instead of farting in public."

The amendment, which will make farting in public an offense, will be presented to parliament for debate as part of a review by the state-sponsored Law Commission of the country's penal code.

More news on George Chaponda and his 'kentut' law: Chaponda Blunders, fouls the truth

There you are...believe it, the 'kentut' prohibition is going to be fully enforced in Malawi soon. I can't imagine a load of Malawians being hauled up to the courts and be charge for exploding from an over pressure of gas build up in their gut....!

But while they are not enforcing it yet, Malawians can have their load of fun farting away gleefully. Those who have problems of flatulence can have their own way of releasing them in public, these few weeks to come, while they still can -- before the law is enforced.

Some facts about Malawi:

The Republic of Malawi, situated at the south-east of the African continent, bordering Mozambique and Tanzania is a largely agricultural country, with an area of 118,484 sq km (45,747 sq miles).
 
For the first 30 years of independence it was run by the authoritarian and quixotic President Hastings Kamuzu Banda, but democratic institutions have taken a firm hold since he relinquished power in the mid-1990s. 

Malawi is now making efforts to overcome decades of underdevelopment and the more recent impact of a growing HIV-Aids problem. 

Most Malawians rely on subsistence farming, but the food supply situation is precarious and the country is prone to natural disasters of both extremes - from drought to heavy rainfalls - putting it in constant need of thousands of tonnes of food aid every year.

Malawi has been urged by world financial bodies to free up its economy, and has it has privatised many loss-making state-run corporations.

Since 2007 the country has made real progress in achieving economic growth as part of programmes instituted by the government of President Mutharika in 2005. Healthcare, education and environmental conditions have improved, and Malawi has started to move away from reliance on overseas aid.

Media access:

Radio is the chief source of information for many Malawians. State-run MBC is the main national broadcaster. Television was introduced in 1999.

Privately-owned publications present a range of opinions, although the government has used libel and other laws to put pressure on newspaper journalists.

BBC World Service is available on FM in its major cities: Blantyre (98.7), Lilongwe (98.0) and Mzuzu (87.9).

By early 2008, only around 1% of Malawians were using the internet (ITU).


So what is it about this underdeveloped African country of 15.6 million people (UN 2010) trying to proof with enforcing this 'old' trivial legislation?

Anyway ...to me this whole thing seems to be a silly joke! says the Strollers.

And lastly I present you the sound of my fart for you to consider whether it is "noxious to the public and to the health of persons in general dwelling..."?


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